Perfect Bike

I was whining to Stan about how much my Fuji weighs. He sent me this

All bikes weigh 30 pounds.
If you have a 30 pound bike that’s all you need.
If you have a 25 pound bike you need a 5 pound ‘U’ lock to keep it.
If you have a 20 pound bike you need a 10 pound lock and chain

So, my bike is perfect. Don't have to add a thing.

Still want that Roubaix, anyway. I'll buy the chain.